Fantasy Hockey Update: Week Fifteen

Nothing new to really report this week. Weird that it's already fifteen weeks into the season. Doesn't seem to be real.

Anyway, keep an eye on injuries and make notes of who you need to trade for when the end of the month arrives.

Remember the rules:

two trades only
trade players in same position
email us with team name and trades


Here are the standings for this week:



Top five are:

1. Ramen Truck
2. Evgenia
3. The Bert and Ernies
4. Socially Awkward
5. Noodles


Good lick to everyone and watch out for those injuries!

Awards Monday: Week Fifteen

Hottie of the Week (this week, literally)

(oh yeah, he's Swedish)

Viktor Stalberg


Hubba hubba. Where did his scoring hands come from? We don't remember Stalberg ever being a star of the week here for his goal-scoring ability. Okay, that's mean. We still love him.

-&-

Best Commercial of the Night


Edmonton Oilers Skills Competition


Not a commercial but it's worth it to post it here.

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award


John Tavares


He scored today (doesn't count but kinda does) in yet another losing cause but kept up his nine-game point streak. If he was on another team he would he the talk of the NHL right now. He's good, scary good.

So, This Happened...

We are actually too stunned to say anything borderline witty about this video.

(Thanks to Grace for the link)


- As you know, Mike Cammalleri was traded to the Calgary Flames with a prospect and draft pick for Rene Bourque and a prospect and a draft pick.


- Canadiens captain Brian Gionta had surgery on his biceps and could be out for the rest of the season. Not good news.


- An article appeared on TribLive about the Penguins and the team's desire to get a new captain and how they are not all behind him during the concussion. Well, that day the boys all came out on the ice wearing 'C's made out of stick tape on their jerseys. That's our boys.


- Biggest news was Sidney Crosby finally skating for the first time in more than a month. Yay.


- Another concussion has brought someone down, this time on the Flyers. James van Riemsdyk is out indefinitely with one. Not good news.


- Rick DiPietro will be having sports hernia surgery and he could be done for the season. What else is new?


- There are rumors of a Flyers/Leafs trade involving James van Riemsdyk and Luke Schenn. Whaaaaaaaat?


- Daniel Carcillo of the Chicago Blackhawks will be having season-ending knee surgery and just another addition to the injury list.


- Jeff Skinner made his return tonight from a concussion after more than a month on the sidelines. Yay!


- David Booth also made his return to the Canucks lineup tonight. Good for you, David Booth.


- Jamie Benn will be out for at least ten days after having an emergency appendectomy. Schniekes!

Because We All Need A Laugh

The LA Kings share their worst date memories.



Carolina Hurricanes are asked what kind of tattoo they would get if given the opportunity



Name that New Guy on the Blackhawks: Mixing Cereals



A Blackhawks fan hits on reporter during the 'Shoot the Puck' in intermission

(thanks to PuckDaddy for finding the link and we could steal it)


Artem Anisimov shares fun facts about himself, lol



The Maple Leafs talk about who's hot and who's not



Nick Swardson is interviewed by the Minnesota Wild in a Wild jersey, makes us love him even more



A few Predators players get ready for GnashVegas



Canadiens players talk about which one of their teammates would make the best GMs



The NHL Winter Classic is rumored to be between the Red Wings and the Maple Leafs.

We can't wait to see Brian Burke yell about shit during 24/7. Gonna be amazing.

Mystery Date Friday - Friday the 13th Edition

Remember how this shizz works, ladies? Good cause here come the dates. They are both players who wear the number thirteen which was one of the hardest restrictions we have put on ourselves when doing a date night.

Not a lot of good looking 13s.

-&-

Mystery Date #1


For this date, we think that this #13 would find some perverse joy in making you dress in all black then waiting for nightfall before taking some of those window paint markers and drawing obscene things and bad words in his native language on the cars of his teammates. After you deface quite a few cars, the two of you head to a twenty-four hour diner and then laugh about what you did.



Mystery Date #2


This date is going to be cute through and through. This #13 invites you to his house where you guys proceed to make homemade ice cream with whatever flavor you want and any combination. While the ice cream is freezing, the two of you watch some cheesy romantic comedy. After the movie, he brings out every toppping imaginable you you guys make disgustingly awesome ice cream sundaes you dub 'the kitchen sink'.



So, who is it gonna be ladies?

Is it gonna be Mystery Date #1?

Or will it be Mystery Date #2?


Let us know who you get!

2012 All Star Rosters

If you haven't seen the rosters yet (you shame us if that's a yes) then here they are!

Starters



Forwards






Defensemen




Goaltenders



Rookies




While this roster has been picked by people who obviously don't know good hockey players if they hit them in the face (we're kidding), we decided to pick our own teams. The All Star teams of our hearts.

Well, the six starters at least.


Henrik
(We told her that she needed a top six but she believes in John Tortorella's old mantra 'Safe is death' and doesn't want a defense...)

James Neal

because the bitch is fabulous and can score dem goals like a pro

Patrice Bergeron

he's perfect and flawless, think of a time when he did something wrong..that's right, he hasn't

John Tavares

despite the awful team he is on, he's still an All Star

Ryan Callahan

best captain in the league (when Crosby is out, duh)

Torrey Mitchell

more for his good looks than anything else

Henrik Lundqvist

yessssssssssssssss


Noodles
(We had to tell her not to pick all defensemen but couldn't stop her when picking a goaltender)

Kris Versteeg

because he can sing the national anthems before the All Star game

Jordan Eberle/Taylor Hall

either or, they're both winners and borderline ugly but we're slightly fascinated with them

Colin Wilson

he may be an airhead but he's still a pretty good hockey player...sometimes

Ryan Whitney

get him out there on crutches or a walking boot or a walker fitted with tennis balls, whatever, just get him out on the ice

Jack Johnson

JMFJ will eff shit up on the blueline, that's for sure and we know he would bring some beaver tails back to LA for Drew Doughty

Kevin Bieksa

the ultimate Mean Girl; he would tweet at Ryan Kesler about how the ASG is such a joke (but secretly love it)


Who would be on the All Star Team of you Heart?

Let us know!

More Twitter Bromances

This post has been a while in the making but we have found this link that made it a hell of a lot easier finding the players we were looking for.

It's a list of all the NHL players on Twitter. Here is the link. It's pretty complete which impresses us.

So after posting the Ryan Whitney and Jordan Eberle exchange, we received an email from Grace with suggestions for more Twitter Bromances.

This excited us to no end. So we did the research and found some tweets between these guys and ones that we found.


Mike Richards (@MRichie18) and Daniel Carcillo (@CarBombBoom13)



Daniel Carcillo (@CarBombBoom13) and Patrick Kane (@88PKane)




Cory Emmerton (@cemmer48) and Brendan Smith (@bssmith7) and Mike Commodore (@commie22)




Brandon Prust (@BrandonPrust8) and his New York Rangers teammates



Hal Gill (@Skillsy75) and PK Subban (@PKSubban1)




Joffrey Lupul (@JLupul) and Tyler Bozak (@Bozie42)





Scott Hartnell (@Hartsy19) and every Flyer on Twitter




Kevin Bieksa (@kbieksa3) and Ryan Kesler (@Ryan_Kesler)





Any Twitter bromances that we missed? Let us know!