Jumat, 31 Desember 2010

Kamis, 30 Desember 2010

Cheap, Cheap

We love Bloge Salming and this is one of our favorites...




And this one is way more important and kind of funnier

Rabu, 29 Desember 2010

Mancrush Of The Week: Mike Rupp



Mike Rupp



Why He's A Mancrush

- loves children


- protects his teammates

- has his beliefs

- is always ready to roll

Selasa, 28 Desember 2010

Bob Errey On Ice? Yes, Please.

Alumni game preview, we wish that we could go but we have to be satisfied with this


- Flames GM Sutter resigned. Jay Feaster has taken his place. Finally? We've been waiting for this all year.

- The Islanders traded James Wisniewski to the Montreal Canadiens for two draft picks.

- Zack Kassian was suspended for a hit to a Czech forward. Another one? He might want to cool his jets.

- Here's where you can get the scoop on the World Juniors through TSN. Link.

Senin, 27 Desember 2010

Awards Monday: Week Twelve

Hottie Of The Week


Ryan Whitney


he finally scored a goal...

-&-

Best Commercial Of The Night


Dallas Stars and Chipotle


they combine to create one of the lamest and funniest commercials ever

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award


Jordan Staal


because he is finally ready to go...hopefully

Minggu, 26 Desember 2010

Day After Christmas Stuffing

- New Jersey Devils replaced John MacLean with the GM of the team. Yes, because he makes the best decisions...

- Speaking of the Devils, Zach Parise will resume skating in March. Uh sir, that's a little too late.

- Commercial for the WJC in Buffalo


- The Stars Dilemma in Yahoo!form. In case you were curious about how the team management situation is going down, this is a good article for that.

- Pavel Datsyuk and Niclas Bergfors are down and out. Injuries are back with a vengeance.

- Pierre McGuire, the resident expert on World Juniors (especially Canada), has some major story lines for the current WJC going on.

- Ever wonder what cars the Toronto Maple Leafs drive? Kris Versteeg has the best one, of course. Bet it has the best sound system as well.

- Speaking of Kris Versteeg, he wore a Dion Phaneuf mask when the Leafs were in Calgary. The picture is kind of scary, yet funny.

- THE RETURN OF JOEY THE REPORTER!!!

Sabtu, 25 Desember 2010

Silver Fox: Win A Date With An Oldster Holiday Edition #3

Thanks to Mouthguard who always has our back and brings the awesome when she creates Silver Fox dates.

SILVER FOX: WIN A DATE WITH AN OLDSTER

NO SWEAT: ROCK 'EM SOCK 'EM BOXING DAY EDITION


Have you been naughty? Or have you been nice? Eh?


NAME
Donald Stewart ("Grapes") Cherry



CURRENT POSITION

Officially: Co-host of Hockey Night in Canada's "Coach's Corner", brewpublican, author, fashion icon,video/telemedia celebrity



Unofficially: The Great White North's King Of All Media (i.e., Think Canada's Answer To Howard Stern, But With An Emphasis On Sport, Hearth & Country Instead Of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll).


Loves hockey, Canada, loud-patterned clothing and The Baby Jesus. A LOT. In this grandslam 2010 holiday edition of Coach's Corner, Don takes a heartfelt timeout to remind us of The Baby Jesus' Birthday, and he downplays Bruce Boudreau's expletives in HBO's 24/7 debut episode because Boudreau never once "take(s) the Lord's name in vain." Hmmmm:



FORMER POSITION

Officially: Legendary Boston Bruins coach. Not So Legendary Boston Bruin. Spiffy dresser.


Unofficially: Hot-Tempered Psychopath. Gangster Suit Junkie. Compulsive Name-Dropper.



WHY HE'S AMAZING

In an era when hockey was losing a lot of its mojo for a bunch of reasons that don't matter now, Don gave it mouth-to-mouth and brought ballsack back to the sport. Even if you couldn't stand the way he shouted into the camera/at his players, maybe you hated the way he overdressed or were deeply offended by his opinions, you had to own up to the fact that he was fun to watch and even funner to listen to. That was what, 40 years ago? He's still at it today. Grapes loves his job and don't tell him otherwise. Hockey-ignorant travelers gawk at him when he's going through airport security ("WTF is that?"), and young guns like our Matt Duchene politely blink and pretend he's not spraying it when he's saying it while he's giving them The Most Critically Earth-Shattering Unsolicited Career Advice Ever:



WHY HE'S (STILL) SEXY AS HELL

He can't be sexy because he NEVER was sexy, but goddamn the old coot's charisma commands an audience. He OWNS the hockey media, plain and simple. Not many hockey players or personalities compel people to construct blogs/ongoing suit chronicles entitled, "doncherryjacketwatch" or find a way to be consistently soundbitten/quoted in the non-sporting media the way Grapes does. He finds a way to remain oddly relevant. Despite himself.



WHAT YOU WOULD DO ON A DATE

Always on the run, Don has managed to pencil you in for a hot holiday night on the town. You meet him at CBC headquarters in Toronto, where he greets you in coach garb (snow pants, baseball hat, egg timer, whistle) and corrals you into his office. He grabs your shoulders and plops you down at his desk in front of his 25-foot computer monitor. He stands behind you, and crouches down so his face is literally centimetres from yours, squinting at the giant monitor. He sets his egg timer to 2 minutes, blows his whistle, and commences barking commands at his computer. His voice-recognition enabled computer - with 50-point font - obliges him, bobbing and weaving to a website called, myuglychristmassweater.com (Motto: "Don't miss out on any of the ugliness!"). You are transfixed like never before. "I have no idea why they callit 'ugly', to be honest which ya," Don yells in your ear as if you're 1000 metres away. "…'cuz you're gonna see just how bee-uuu-tee-ful these things are, lemme tell ya! What we're gonna do is, for our date tanite, I'M gonna pick out a Christmas sweater for YOU, and YOU'RE gonna pick out a Christmas sweater for ME! Neat, eh?" His grin stretches from ear-to-ear, and you have no choice but to smile back and try not to look as seasick as your tummy. "Here, how about DIS ONE?! It's a sweater AND a dress! I think it's classy!" And yeah but no but... It's a Christmas sweater dress:


"Or maybe DIS ONE! It's got a 3-D light-up moose in the middle and a Christmas ornament on each side of your chestal area!" Don is crazy excited about this Mooseboob Sweater:


In desperation, you agree that the Mooseboob Sweater is the perfect choice just so you can pick his sweater and get the fuck outta his creepy office. Yay! Don is beyond ecstatic. He blows his whistle, resets the egg timer and yells, "YOUR TURN!" You select a brightly-colored "Happy Hanukkah" sweater as your first choice for him:


He looks at you like you've made him swallow battery acid. "I love da colors, but there's no way I can wear anything dat et-nic." Don solemnly shakes his head and blows his whistle again. "Since we've got a full night of festivities ahead, why don't I just pick one for me on your behalf, eh? See, now DIS one's fun and it'll show off my guns!" Much chuckling. It's a tartan-patterned "Holy Grail of Ugly, One-Of-A-Kind" REVERSIBLE Christmas sweater vest whose pre-owner was undoubtedly a regular patron at the celebrated Studs Bar:
)

"Time oot, time oot..." Much gesticulating here. "On second thought, I'm gonna have to go traditional and opt for this classic sweater jacket with the most balls. It's classy and it has the most balls! BOB'S YOUR UNCLE! SOLD!"


You climb into your Christmas sweaters and the next thing you know, you've walked a few blocks to the Horseshoe on Queen where Don surprises you with comps to see Weezer! And just like that, you're beyond stoked and not at all worried about how stupid you look because guaranteed Weezer and everybody at the 'Shoe will look way stupider than you. At a Weezer show, it's a contest to see who can out-stupid best! I know, right? Who woulda thought Grapes listened to anybody besides Tommy Hunter (his desktop wallpaper!) or The Nylons. You realize you have temporarily "lost" Don, until you notice him blowing his whistle and crowdsurfing to "Undone - The Sweater Song":


Don has his hands full 2-fisting himself some Molson Canadian, and he insists on buying you a Weezer t-shirt at the merch stand. He blows his whistle and announces that fuck that, he can do better! He is designing his own t-shirts for the holidays: "Some of their logos 'n 'nat are a bit fresh 'n filthy, but they glow in da dark so they go perfect with yer wint-o-green Lifesavers!" (snort snort snort)


You taxi back to your place, where he sets his egg timer for a "30-minute warmup." Don starts to get very comfy, indeed, until he spots your brightly food-colored, freshly-congealed Sandra Lee inspired Kwanzaaaa cake that you have unfortunately neglected to stash away. Here's an evisceral breakdown of what it looks like, fyi:


and how it's "semi" homemade. Making it is nauseating enough. Eating it? That's just wrong:


BOB'S YOUR UNCLE! END OF DATE! Gesticulating, Don blows his whistle and falls off the sofa. He accuses you of listening to too much reggae and worshipping Satan because you "poked your reggae cake with black candles!", and then he lectures you about how sacrilegious Kwanzaaaa is because:

1) they leave out the part about Santa and The Baby Jesus:


2) Kwanzaaaa men and women wear ugly funny robes called "boo-boos" 'n 'nat ("Look how ugly! Look at dat! Who in der right mind would wear DAT? And look see he's listening to his reggae like I said..."):


and, 3) everybody knows there aren't any Christmas trees in Africa, eh?



Don blows his whistle and announces he is going to design a glow-in-the-dark holiday t-shirt "warning the faithful" about Kwanzaaaa. This is what he comes up with: "And it glows in the dark, eh?!"


"I'm gonna make some calls and make sure the League brass 'n 'nat get on dis!" Don barks all serious and blows his whistle yet again. "We in hockey gotta make sure we do everything we can to fight dis Kwanzaaaa and reggae cakes! Gotta sleep at night feelin' like we did everything in our power to stop it before it spreads! We'll start with HFK t-shirts and den move on to HFK tie clips, God willing. Oh, Dougie Gilmour's gonna look SMART in these, eh?! HO, HO, HO!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BABY JESUS!!!"


He forces you to "model" his HFK t-shirt while you watch Team Canada's Boys Kick Some Commie Ass in WJC finals reruns.



MERRY CHRISTMAS Joyeux Noël FELIZ NAVIDAD Fröhliches Weihnachten HAPPY CHANUKKAH Happy Kwanzaaa HAIL SATAN and May The Force Be With You Always!!

Jumat, 24 Desember 2010

Double Date: Christmas Eve Edition

Whether you have been naughty or nice, we don't care. The majority of the time we are in fact being naughty. It's in our DNA. And everyone deserves something whether they've been naughty or nice.

This year, the only thing we asked Santa for was a hockey player. We want him wrapped up in a bow in a red and green Christmas stocking waiting for us under the Christmas tree.

So here's the million dollar question on this edition of Double Date...

Who would you rather find under your tree Christmas morning?


Door #1


Who: Zach Parise



OR


Door #2

Who: Antoine Vermette




That's right, imagine either one of these studs wearing nothing but a Christmas stocking and a smile greeting you on Christmas morning and try to make the decision...

Kamis, 23 Desember 2010

WJC Right Around The Corner

As you may know, the 2011 World Junior Championships are right around the corner. If anyone knows us then you know how excited we are for it.

This is (one of the main) reason(s) that we pay so much for our cable. Some people just don't understand.


This year the WJC is all about the US and their defense of the gold. They are without many key components of last season's team because of the NHL.

Players such as John Carlson, who is with the Washington Capitals and Derek Stepan who is with the New York Rangers will not be returning to the WJC USA Team.

This is Canada's chance to take the gold. We are divided as always in this house and it won't be any easier when Macke comes to town for a week. It will be a bloodbath here.

Like normal.


Anyway, here are some articles from NHL.com that were really interesting to us about this topic.

- Chris Kreider had a phenomenal 2010 and he just hopes that he can continue that good luck into the new year.

- Here is the lineup of the US Team. A lot of the players are newbies but the ones that are returning are a talented bunch.

- A center from Team Sweden claims that the US is their toughest competitor, not Canada. Link from Darren Dreger's blog.

Rabu, 22 Desember 2010

Mancrush Of The Week: Rob Scuderi

We don't know how we almost missed picking this blueliner for the weekly Mancrush. Rob is the quintessential example of what a great mancrush is.

-&-



Rob Scuderi



Why He's A Mancrush

If you are a Penguins or Kings fan then you already know why Mr. Scuderi is the perfect mancrush.

He is dependable, quiet and defensively responsible. He is everything anyone could want for a blueliner.


We love how Rob plays and he isn't bad to look at but he isn't exactly 'crushing so hard on him' material. But that's why he's the mancrush.

Rob will sacrifice everything he has to win. We remember in the playoffs a few years back when he was hit in the face with a puck and still went out for his shift.

That's a man.

And he's the perfect mancrush.

Selasa, 21 Desember 2010

Junior Hockey Seems To Be Funner

(forgive the grammar)

This was sent to us by Jackie who found it on Deadspin.

It's the Calgary Hitmen's annual Teddy Bear Toss. Fans are asked to bring in their old teddy bears to donate to charity and after the first goal is scored they toss them on the ice as if it is a hat trick.

That is an insane amount of Teddy Bear. Seriously, that's a lot of stuffed animals.


-&-


Aw, AHL Babies love each other! Most of the Capitals babies give us fits because we love them but we shouldn't...It's against what we believe in but we do it anyway.

We can feel the love.

Senin, 20 Desember 2010

Awards Monday: Week Eleven

Hottie Of The Week


Matt Duchene


We birthed an amazing and beautiful son and he carried the team on his back when PeterPaul Stastny was out. Just like Joe Sakic.

-&-

Best Commercial Of The Night


Gillette


Sent to us by ego maniac

-&-

The Ryan Malone Wheaties Award


Jonathan Toews


since the injuries to both Patrick Kane and Marian Hossa, he has been the offense and we give him props for trying even though he really isn't that offensive

Minggu, 19 Desember 2010

NHL News And Notes Part Two

- Ryan Callahan broke his hand in the game against the Pittsburgh Penguins. He will be out for at least six weeks

- Matt Duchene and Cody Hodgson were best friends before the NHL got between them. Now they have completely different career paths.

- Tim Connolly is out with an injury...goooooo figure. He will be out for at least a week.

- And speaking of injuries, Kyle Quincey has to have season-ending shoulder surgery. That's sad.

- Matt Martin was suspended for two games after his hit to the head to Vernon Fiddler during the Islanders/Coyotes game.

- Bruce Boudreau was yelled at by his mother for all of the cursing she saw on the first episode on 24/7. Hahaha.

- The Price Is Right or completely, totally wrong

(sent to us by Shanny)

- James Duthie has anther installment of 1-on-1. This time it's with Shea Weber. Seriously. almost every interview has been awesome.

- The Canucks are having a hard time with Kevin Bieksa because he's been playing so well defensively. They don't know whether to keep him or move him.

And speaking of the Canucks, Ryan Kesler is not being such a chatty biotch and is scoring goals frequently instead.

- Dion Phaneuf: The Original PK Subban. Article.

- The Oilers rookies are the reason that they have more points than the New Jersey Devils. Scott Cullen breaks down the numbers.

- Chris Pronger broke his foot.

- Meet Donald Fehr, the new head of the NHLPA. Article.

- Paul Bissonnette talks about Twitter and why he loves it so much.

- Merry Early Christmas

(sent to us by Shanny and Mouthguard)

Sabtu, 18 Desember 2010

Silver Fox: Win A Date With An Oldster #9

Silver Fox: Win A Date With An Oldster



Name
Markus Naslund


Current Position
is now the general manager of the Swedish elite league team MODO



Former Position
left winger for the Penguins, Canucks and Rangers before retiring last season


Why He's Amazing
he's Swedish and pretty and one of the highest scoring left wingers in the NHL



Why He's (Still) Sexy As Hell
because he's Swedish


What You Would Do On A Date
Markus cooks a dinner of native Swedish food and blindfolds you. He feeds you pieces of each dish, asking if you like it and then making you pronounce the names of the food in Swedish.

Jumat, 17 Desember 2010

Double Date: Shooting Stars

In honor of the Dallas Stars being a ball of fury and winning all of those games we are having a Shooting Stars date, we're so funny it hurts.

On to the Dooooooouble Date!

-&-

Door #1

Name: Brad Richards


Date: Brad opens all of the doors for you and is a complete gentleman as soon as you meet him. For the date, he takes you to the local children's hospital where the two of you hand out gifts and talk to the children...he may or may not have written poetry about you as well...


OR


Door #2

Name: Adam Burish


Date: this date is a whirlwind of karaoke and cheap beer and a tattoo parlor that you barely remember and in the morning Adam makes you scrambled egg and salsa burritos in nothing but an apron


Which Star is totally the one you would say HELL YES! to a second date?

Kamis, 16 Desember 2010

Hat Trick Galore

Nick Lidstrom scored a hat trick. Who else was surprised that this was his first in the NHL?




Drew Stafford decided to let everyone know that he was healthy and back for the Sabres so he scored a hatty, too.




And of course Ryan Kesler couldn't be left out of the reindeer games. He scored his hat trick goal in overtime to win the game for the Canucks over the Blue Jackets.




And then that other dude, Tomas Fleischmann scored a hat trick. Whaaaaaatever.




All I wanted for Christmas was a hat trick. Or four.

Rabu, 15 Desember 2010

Mancrush Of The Week: Dustin Penner



Dustin Penner


Why He's A Mancrush

The gentle giant? The Green Giant? Huge human? He's a large, semi-cuddly human and we can't blame him for being so large. It's not his fault.

We like Penner because he used to be really awesome. As in when he was in Anaheim and playing with Corey Perry/Ryan Getzlaf.

This was pre-Bobby Ryan, just fyi.

The last few years have been difficult in Edmonton but he has been producing. We love how fat DP plays even if he is sometimes lazy. Everyone has their lazy days, ya know?

Penner scores whenever he wants to but that's why we like him. He's a scary looking human but a pretty good hockey player.