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![](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4vU-WIJg8w8/TXurSaGfk3I/AAAAAAAAKpc/OfAt3aSNzQw/s400/shanny1.jpg)
Name
Brenden Shanahan
Current Position
Vice President of Hockey & Business Development for the NHL
![](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uE9HZ-be9HA/TXurSUlPV0I/AAAAAAAAKpk/VV3q6Nu_Qbs/s400/shanny2.jpg)
Former Position
BAMF power forward
![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0eLFNfOzdhE/TXurSsh4fMI/AAAAAAAAKps/DofxeTQi-L0/s400/shanny3.jpg)
Why He's Amazing
Is a member of the Triple Gold Club
![](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3ev0qTCzhzU/TXurSyhws0I/AAAAAAAAKp0/1Rl_hhi1YB0/s400/shanny4.jpg)
Why He's Still Sexy As Hell
If looking at him isn't enough, he's helping to make the game safer for players & more entertaining for fans.
![](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nKiHP-5a5Gg/TXurSynxKwI/AAAAAAAAKp8/pcjMf4YdKmc/s400/shanny5.jpg)
What You Do On A Date
After hitting all the St. Patty's Day parties at every bar, pub, & dive in the city you stumble back to Shanny's place. He immediately pulls out the Jameson & cranks up the Dropkick Murphys.
The two of you then proceed to drunk dial people on his phone starting with Sean Avery:
![](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2N7c_tfx4z4/TXurcZMG-pI/AAAAAAAAKqE/SVIVh95QX48/s400/shanny6.jpg)
You (slurring): it's ringing, it's ringing, shhhhh.
SA: Yello?
You (trying to make your voice sound deeper): Hey, sweet cheeks, whaaaattttt's uuuuppppp?
SA: Hey Alphonso! I didn't expect to hear from you so soon.
Shanny (yelling in the background): Tell him his face looks like a 200 year old vagina!
You (to Shanny): Shhhhsss! Let me do this!
SA: Wait a minute...who is this!?!
You: Uhhuuhhh...you're a pussy face!
SA: Phaneuf!?! Is that you!?! Damn it man, it's not my fault you keep getting my sloppy seconds.
You: At least I'm not Trevor Gillies sloppy seconds like you are!! BUUUURRRRN!!
Shanny (yelling in background): He's on to us! Hang up, hang up!
(CLICK)
The next call goes out to Steve Yzerman:
![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TY7H-IlevYc/TXurck5MzDI/AAAAAAAAKqM/8LVcmqCUwh4/s400/shanny7.jpg)
SY (very groggily): Yeah?
Shanny (with very slurred speech): Heeeeeyyyyy, you there guy.
SY: Sweet Jesus, Burke, not again! Look I told you before I'm NOT trading Stamkos!!
Shanny: Yeah, well, shit, you know.
SY: I'm not trading Hedman or St. Louis either! I told you I'd entertain offers for Vinny, mostly to dump his massive salary but, you don't have a center I want & you just laugh & hang up when ever I call you about Schenn! So, quite fucking calling me at all hours before I beat the shit out of you!!
(CLICK)
The next number dialed is Henrik Lundqvist
![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3RdCf0WnE6U/TXurdGQ6qWI/AAAAAAAAKqU/DLlo8xCfJjw/s400/shanny8.jpg)
Hank: Hej?
You (hysterically crying): You're so beautiful & so awesome! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Why don't you love me back!?! Whhhhhhyyyyyyyyy!?!
Hank: Avery?
You: WHHHYYYYY!?!
(CLICK)
Next on the list is Gary Bettman:
![](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-J2ike1UGdaI/TXurdnXhpgI/AAAAAAAAKqc/RkreOx_6C5g/s400/shanny9.jpg)
GB: Commish here.
You & Shanny (giggling): BUTTTTMAAAANNNN!!!
You: Butttt!
Shanny: Maaaannnnn!
GB: Oh, Colly you're so cute. I do enjoy our little conversations.
You & Shanny: Huh?
GB: So, have you under disciplined anyone tonight my sexy little minx?
You & Shanny: What. The. Fuck!! Haaaaahaaaaahaaaaa!!!
(CLICK)
You & Shanny decide to make one last call. It goes out to Brett Hull
![](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F8ohLhvpncQ/TXurd-_iNqI/AAAAAAAAKqk/V9Lk_Lpg-NY/s400/last%2Bshanny.jpg)
BH: Go for Hully.
Shanny (slurred): You're like, man, you know
BH: Shanny, what the fuck do you want?
Shanny: Wait...how, man? Hoooowwww?
BH: It's called caller ID, dick face.
Shanny: But like...oh OK.
BH: Yeah, oh OK. Fuckwad!
(CLICK)
After Hull hangs up Shanny asks if you'd like to see his shillelagh stick.
Did you have a good time drunk dialing people? Do you hang around & get a look at Shanny's magic Irish shillelagh? Or do you head home?
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