Stanley Cup Finals: Game Four

Complete domination by the Boston Bruins. Can't say that we're surprised though.

That's what happens when a team tries to destroy a bromance like Lucic and Horton's wonderfully manly bromance. People will pay for hurting his bro.

We don't know what you saw last night but this is the game we were subjected to and we will not complain for fear of Tim Thomas.

-&-

WHAT SHE SAID:
THE 2011 STANLEY CUP FINALS REENACTED BY FOR REAL (and not currently bogus) READY FOR PRIME TIME PLAYERS!!!
GAME 4 RECAP


- Relax. It's June 8, 2011, not June 8...

- WAIT?! WHAT?! I thought these things happened in the past? Not now! What is going on? What is happening?


- It's chaos everywhere.

- It all started with a badly-timed cheeseburger joke and Tim Thomas grew into a horrible Goaliezilla.

He stomps around the ice and bullies the Sedins like they are tiny ginger ragdolls.

- Adam McQuaid's mullet is taking prisoners, like The German and the other Sedin.

"One tough hombre"

- Brad Marchand and Alex Burrows are having a 'who is the dirtiest player in the Finals' contest and going after anything near the benches.

It's a title that is currently up for grabs.

- Max Lapierre laughs manically in circles around everything and continues to taunt the Bruins fans.


- Goaliezilla bites the head off of Mike Milbury and then spits it out at Pierre McGuire who mourns the loss of his favorite co-host.

He's crying his big baby tears from his big baby head into his big baby pillow.

- No one is safe. It is absolute chaos like when the Canadiens fans took over Montreal and started a riot.

Absolute chaos.

- Suddenly, there's a bright white light and a cloud descends on the ice with Bobby Orr sitting atop it.

The chaos stops. He reaches a hand out and says, "Today is the eighth day of June and the Bruins will win this game four to zero."


- And that's the final score. Because Bobby said so.