Stanley Cup Finals: Game Two

Yet again, MouthGuard outdoes herself. One of the best recaps ever.

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WHAT SHE SAID:
THE 2011 STANLEY CUP FINALS REENACTED BY FOR REAL (and not currently bogus) READY FOR PRIME TIME PLAYERS!!!
GAME 2 RECAP

Are you fricking kidding me? WTF is going on with the weirdo goals with mere nanoseconds left or barely a ketchup chip crunch into OT? I had barely busted into my ketchup Humpty Dumpties when 2011's version of La Petite Peste seized the day and pantsed Timmy T. Or so I thought...

Here's what really happened, sweetie darlings. Here's how it all went down:


- Relax. It's not 2011. It's 1983!!!

- With less than 11 seconds into overtime, Washington's DALE HUNTER (RW) scores the GWG on the Islanders' BILLY SMITH!!!



- Billy throws a major hissy in the Isles' locker room immediately thereafter, trashing everybody's stall and forcing bowl upon bowl of red, white and orange M&M's down Mike Bossy's nostrils. But his tantrum is neither here nor there, because as we all know the Isles go on to win the Cup quite convincingly and Billy emerges as the Dark Knight hero/Conn Smythe winner at that.


- The volatile and versatile Petite Peste revels in his 15 minutes, showing the world just how futile it is for goalies to get show-offy and duct-tape their buttcracks

The media convinces everybody that the series is a lock for Peste and his teammates. Much revelry ensues on the flight back East for Game 3...

- Peste's method of quashing jet lag involves multiple cans of 50 and stuffing an enormous bag of "oregano" up Mason Raymond's butt.


- Very funny, Peste. Very funny. But remember: There's a very fine line between stupid and clever.

- Oh, and for relevant background on Mr. Lapierre, look no further than Veruca Salt's "All Hail Me"